handheadman

2012 is mine!

2012-01-02T14:16:00.001-06:00

Things will actually, finally be changing around here in the coming months. Last month I met the woman I believe is my soulmate and it has lit a fire inside me to get back into the game of life and win!

Stay tuned, things will really get wild in May!

TACA Spring Craft Fair

2010-05-04T19:58:00.006-05:00

Y'all come, to Centennial Park in Nashville this weekend for the TACA Spring Craft Fair. Despite "The Athens of the South" having been transformed into The Atlantis of the South last weekend, the show is still on and, along with other artists who survived the deluge, I will be there trying to earn enough to keep the bills paid. Be there or be a two-dimensional, rectilinear form with four equal sides.

A disturbance in The Force

2010-04-28T02:05:00.002-05:00

Blogger/Google has decided to stop allowing FTP blogging and I don't presently have the time to figure out all the jiggery-pokery necessary to make it appear as if nothing has happened. So, for the time being, I'm redirecting to Blogspot. So far it looks like everything transitioned okay and since I really haven't done much with the blogging thing anyway, it may stay like this for some time. The handheadman.com site however I plan to do some work on in the near future as it has been stagnant for too long.

I'm back

2009-01-13T13:35:00.001-06:00

Ready to take jewelry orders for 2009...

No more Xmas orders

2008-12-05T21:41:00.000-06:00

Sorry! At this point I can no longer get any orders done before the end of the year. Any orders that come in before 2009 will be shipped ASAP in January. Happy holidays!

Mayhem

2007-09-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

Oy! My web host vanished like a thief in the night a bit over a week ago. After being with them for over 4 years, Jatol.com yanked the rug out from under me, inexplicably and without warning, leaving me hanging without website and email. Just gone - and only a few months after I had paid for another year of hosting. I was visiting with an old girlfriend and was oblivious to the carnage till days after the fact. Upon googling for some answers, I found I was not alone in boggling at the turn of events. I've finally gotten around to finding a new web host and redirecting my DNS to point to the new name servers (duh, else you wouldn't be seeing this). As to whether I'll get things back to where they were, time will tell. I have a lot of pages and images to check to make sure all is working and that the backups I've uploaded were current. Certain mail filters, htaccess settings, custom error pages, etc. I'll have to setup again also. I really didn't need this aggravation and expense on top of a glum and grumbly year. Blah! >:-P

Yep...

2007-03-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

This blog has been dead for a pretty good while now. Wish I could say the same for myself. I'm trying to be human, but it's tough. I don't feel I fit anywhere and in the past year the people I felt were my closest friends have all given up on me. I'm trying to be active on StumbleUpon again. It's a really cool social bookmarking site, but it's hard to motivate myself to contribute or even talk to anyone. I feel I've got nothing worthwhile to say. Bleh.

out of touch

2006-05-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

i'm feeling very detached from everything and everyone. there are things i need to do, but i don't feel like doing them. i'd be dead, if i could. i'll be more useless than usual for awhile...

Tennessee Crafts Fair

2006-05-04T21:59:00.000-05:00

I'll be at the TACA Tennessee Crafts Fair in Nashville's Centennial Park this weekend. If you're in the area, stop by and say, "Howdy". I'll be in Booth #3.

Fate hates

2006-04-06T15:44:00.000-05:00

Arrgggghhhh! Fate hates a man who doesn't back up his work. I was writing something long, and complex, and emotionally draining and just as I was thinking of saving what I had so far, my screen turned into a frightening, pixelated hodgepodge of colors. :-( I thought, "maybe it's just my video card", and pressed Ctrl+S, typed a filename, and pressed enter, hoping to blindly save what I had put off writing until I couldn't stand it anymore and made myself remember things that troubled me to get them out, out to see if I could find relief. Then this. This is the sort of thing that drives people crazy. Another 5 seconds and I'd have had it saved. It wasn't just the video card. After waiting for a miracle to restore my video, many Ctrl+Alt+Deletes, and some sobbing, I poked a paperclip into the assigned hole on the computer to reset it and found my attempt to save my work was a failure. Just like me. I'm not sure when I'll try again. It seems everything is falling apart around me... and in me.

AFK

2006-03-13T23:20:00.000-06:00

Not like I keep up this blog worth squat, but it may be worth noting that I will definately not be doing a thing here, at all, for about two weeks. I may have a good deal to say after that though. There are a lot of events in my life that are of concern to me and I really have no one to talk with. Not the way I need. So, i may as well tell the world, right? I'm hoping it will help to just get it all out ... before it blows me apart. 32 years after the picture below and I'm still not a happy guy.

StumbleUpon Toolbar 2.6

2006-03-12T18:33:00.000-06:00

Ugh, the StumbleUpon toolbar was updated again. Here's the latest with my skin on it:

Here's the latest version of my StumbleUpon Toolbar skin for Firefox. It includes the current version of the toolbar (2.6). Note: You may have to set Firefox to allow installation from www.handheadman.com if you haven't done so before.

If you decide to go back to the original StumbleUpon skin, just reinstall it from here: StumbleUpon toolbar.

Oh, and if you're not using Firefox, you're missing out on way more than these few toolbar graphics. Make the switch, you won't regret it.

2006-03-05T22:07:00.000-06:00

Here's the latest version of my StumbleUpon Toolbar skin for Firefox. It includes the current version of the toolbar (2.4).
Note: You may have to set Firefox to allow installation from www.handheadman.com if you haven't done so before.

If you decide to go back to the original StumbleUpon skin, just reinstall it from here: StumbleUpon toolbar.

Oh, and if you're not using Firefox, you're missing out on way more than these few toolbar graphics. Make the switch, you won't regret it.

Tired, old stump

2006-02-27T01:33:00.000-06:00

A map for would-be visitors

2006-02-27T00:57:00.000-06:00

sigh

2006-02-26T14:32:00.000-06:00

why?

eBay Sucks

2006-01-04T20:45:00.000-06:00

I just got an email from eBay claiming I violated their "About Me" page policy. Here's what they linked me to so I could see what apparent evil I had done:
http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/listing-aboutme.html
and
http://pages.ebay.com/help/sell/item_allowed.html

I looked these pages over and it looks to me like I've violated absolutely zero of their posted policies. Now what? Well, I responded asking for clarification, but I'll bet dollars to donuts that, if anything, all I'll get is some worthless form letter and an unending run-around no matter how much I try to resolve the situation. eBay is known to be a poor communicator.

My suspicion is that the jackass that refused to complete an auction of mine he had won is still fussing over the negative feedback I gave him which he responded to with lies. I felt the need to clearly explain the truth of the matter, because I value my reputation as a fair trader, and I think being outed for his lies in my feedback has stuck in his craw ever since. Well, eBay may be able to screw me over on their site because this guy cried to them, but they can't censor me here. So, here's what was there before the eBay goon squad deleted my About Me page (Note: I made the page a long time ago and haven't done much with it so it's a bit ugly): My real eBay "About Me" page

Fog Lamp

2005-12-18T23:01:00.000-06:00

Because I like adult humor and maybe use the occasional "cuss" word my StumbleUpon blog is "Rated 'R'". Unfortunately, this action by StumbleUpon to appease prudes has cast a fog over my pages there making them inaccessable to search engines. This is a shot at trying to start seeing through that fog. Here's a link to my SU blog RSS feed . With any luck, when this gets spidered, that link will get my SU blog some visibility again. Not sure how it'll go though since it's both XML AND served up by PHP. Guess we'll just have to wait and see...

Rated "X". May contain sexually explicit language and images.

Rated "R". May contain violent language and images.

Rated "G". May contain Teletubbies.

Holiday shopping

2005-11-19T14:57:00.000-06:00

Why deal with holiday shopping crowds just to buy the same, impersonal junk from some big chain store? Shop online and get one-of-a-kind, handcrafted gifts. To start, check out some of the offerings from my peers on StumbleUpon:

StumbleUpon Toolbar Version 2.2 Skin

2005-11-17T15:23:00.000-06:00

Here's the latest version of my StumbleUpon Toolbar skin for Firefox. It includes the current version of the toolbar (2.2). The official SU release can be found on its Mozilla Update page.

New Jewelry Items Coming to Catalog Soon...

2005-11-17T15:16:00.000-06:00

I had meant to add some new items the the jewelry catalog earlier this year but never got to it. Now, with the holiday season looming large, I'm finally motivated. I have a couple of small projects that will busy me through the weekend and then there's Thanksgiving coming soon; afterward, if not before, I'll be adding at least the following new items to the catalog for ordering. Stay tuned...

2005-09-13T14:45:00.000-05:00

Here's the latest version of my StumbleUpon Toolbar skin for Firefox. It includes the current version of the toolbar (2.04).

If you decide to go back to the original StumbleUpon skin, just reinstall it from here: StumbleUpon toolbar.

Worthless

2005-08-05T01:45:00.000-05:00

At what point should one stop believing in himself and just accept everyone else's opinion that he's worthless? For me it's feeling as close as the period at the end of this sentence. It makes more sense to say, "what the fuck is wrong with me?", rather than, "what the fuck is wrong with everyone else?", right? - What the fuck is wrong with me???

StumbleUpon 2.03 Toolbar Skin

2005-07-28T12:15:00.000-05:00

Here's the latest version of my StumbleUpon Toolbar skin for Firefox. It includes the current version of the toolbar (2.03).
Note: You'll have to set Firefox to allow installation from www.handheadman.com if you haven't done so before.

If you decide to go back to the original StumbleUpon skin, just reinstall it from here: StumbleUpon toolbar.
You can find other skins in this StumbleUpon Skinning Forum thread.

Oh, and if you're not using Firefox, you're missing out on way more than these few toolbar graphics. Make the switch, you won't regret it.

Amazon Affiliate

2005-07-26T19:14:00.000-05:00

So, I joined the Amazon.com affiliate program. Now I'll be peppering my blog on occasion with links to books, movies, etc. that I review and if anyone buys from those links I get paid. Woopie. I'm not expecting anything really, but it's worth a shot. Here's a search box for Amazon I'm trying out.

4 More Down

2005-07-22T21:29:00.000-05:00

In spite of being especially depressed lately I've managed to finish 4 more furniture refinishing projects. The coffee table and end tables by my couch are looking pretty spiffy now as well as my neat-o aqua rocker. The couch is going to be a bit of a job so I'm holding off tackling it for awhile. Here are some pics of the latest work.

Go me

2005-07-14T22:02:00.000-05:00

I'm finally getting around to refinishing some of my furniture. Got the first table finished yesterday and I think it looks pretty great.

StumbleUpon version 2.0 skin available

2005-06-27T07:06:00.000-05:00

If I ever forget to note it here I always have the most current version on my SU page.

And Yet Another...

2005-06-10T16:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, the StumbleUpon toolbar is now up to version 1.9999 so I had to pack my skin into that one. Here's the very latest for all you Stumblers out there using Firefox (As always, you'll have to set Firefox to allow installation from www.handheadman.com if you haven't done so before.):

If you decide to go back to the original StumbleUpon skin, just reinstall it from here: StumbleUpon toolbar.

Blarg without end...

2005-06-06T16:34:00.000-05:00

Ugh, still depressed, unproductive, and uncommunicative. I haven't made much progress on the catalog stuff, but I did do the skin for the StumbleUpon toolbar ver 1.9998 since that's a quick job. Grab it right here:

New catalog items coming

2005-05-05T00:05:00.000-05:00

In the days following the TACA show, which runs May 6 - May 8 in Nashville's Centennial Park, I'll be adding some new items to the online catalog. Here's a peek at some of the thumbnails:

Panning for gold

2005-04-20T14:13:00.000-05:00

I'm panning my stream of consciousness for gold.

One of those darn quizzes

2005-04-18T13:14:00.000-05:00

You scored as Mindfuck. Congratulations, you scored Mindfuck. You've probably seen a lot of movies, and have grown to hate mainstream shit. You're looking for the movie that will leave you breathless, and with 21 questions to think about. Check out: Donnie Darko, Being John Malkovich, Pulp Fiction, Memento.

Mindfuck

95%

Artistic

90%

Sci-Fi/Fantasy

80%

Sadistic Humour

80%

Drama/Suspense

60%

Romantic Comedy

45%

Mindless Action Flick

45%

Movie Recommendation.
created with QuizFarm.com

Workin'

2005-04-16T16:09:00.001-05:00

I'm going to be spending a lot of time in my studio now. I have to get ready for the TACA Spring Craft Fair that runs May 6-8 here in Nashville. I thought I'd set up a cam in my studio so if anyone caught me slacking off they could nag me to get back to work.

The picture quality sucks since it's a cheap X10 wireless cam. The image may futz up sometimes also due to the florescent light near it, a neighbor's microwave oven being used, or other weirdness. Anyway, here's the cam shot:

Call, IM, or write if it looks like I'm goofing off too much. I have terrible self discipline.

eBaying for Dollars

2005-03-23T21:35:00.000-06:00

I need cash!!! I'm selling stuff on eBay. Putting up a number of listings over the next few days. Check 'em out and buy some crap: My eBay junk. Spread the word!

fading rays of light

2005-03-20T21:36:00.000-06:00

i wish my soul was never so
that i did not live in ashes
cold and lost all things I love
or distant
hardly seen

every minute an age
yet somehow days are fleeting
gone
always gone
empty past
empty coming

i wait for nothing
i move toward nothing
i long for everything
i cry for me
for this world
where i can never be
not really
not known
not wanted
wishing to be cold

worthless words
unheard thoughts
work undone
and broken hearts
i am this
and more
so much more
but better things are held in darkness
as hope is the prisoner of Pandora's box
unopened
there is no hope

Blarg+++

2005-03-09T23:40:00.000-06:00

I'm even more depressed than usual. I'm sick of eating and breathing and being - more than usual. I'm not up to really communicating with anyone in my "real" world. I hope no one thinks I'm ignoring them, I just have less worthwhile to say than usual. Actually I have nothing at all worthwhile to say as should be evident by this post.

There's more than one way to skin a toolbar

2005-03-05T14:03:00.000-06:00

This is my current StumbleUpon toolbar skin for Firefox. I made it without much regard for the original toolbar colors and forms. This toolbar is the most logical to me and all icons are distinct enough to not be confusing.

This skin is packed with the latest StumbleUpon bar (1.9992) for easy installation. Click the image to download. Save it to your computer then drag the file into your Firefox browser window to install. Restart Firefox and you'll have the new button graphics.

Stumbling Towards Ecstasy

2005-03-01T16:25:00.000-06:00

Agh, I'm still neglecting my own site. Of late, it's partly been because I'm now addicted to StumbleUpon.com Check out my page there and you'll see I have been busy somewhere at least: hand-head-man.stumbleupon.com

A New StumbleUpon Skin

2005-02-22T16:21:00.000-06:00

If you use both Firefox and StumbleUpon you may want to try out my StumbleUpon toolbar skin. It's packed with the latest StumbleUpon bar (1.9992) for easy installation. Save it to your computer then drag the file into your Firefox browser window. Restart Firefox and you'll have the new button graphics. Click the image below to download/install.

If you decide to go back to the original StumbleUpon skin, just reinstall it from here: StumbleUpon toolbar.

Ug...

2005-02-13T10:57:00.000-06:00

I spoke too soon, the horizontal rifts in my layup I thought I had exorcised have returned in Firefox. Firefox really seems to like screwing with page layups. I still love it though.
Here's the side-by-side comparison. IE on the left, FF on the right:

A Little Activity...

2005-02-13T10:42:00.000-06:00

I've reworked my blog template a bit and plan to post a little more often - we'll see how that goes. I decided to skip trying to figure out how to get the javascript frame huddle working with the blog template in archived posts and simplify to a frameless layout for it. Even so I had some aggravation trying to get things to look the way I wanted in Internet Explorer, Firefox ,and Netscape. Dreamweaver was ticking me off by adding no-break spaces in my tables and thereby slicing into my layup making nbsp a misnomer. After that was fixed I had to fuss with the differences in how vertical alignment is handled among the browsers. I have things looking about like I wanted - or at least it'll do for now.

I have a lot of updating to do that I slacked off on for various reasons, primarily the continuing creative slump, depression, and some technical issues. That'll have to wait some more though because My internal clock is so out of whack I can't think straight. Yesterday - I think it was yesterday - I didn't get to bed till after 10:00am. Here it is almost 11:00 and I've again not slept during the darker hours. I was almost certain today was the 14th but I see it's only the 13th. Again I must say, blarg!

Blargy New Year

2005-01-02T11:49:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I haven't had much to say. Hardly anyone to say anything to anyway. And now begins another blargy year. Maybe something will come to mind later, for now, I'm busy being a "Mastermind":

INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)

I think it started with the squirrel

2004-11-29T09:42:00.000-06:00

I just got home from a craft show in Covington, KY (may as well call it Cincinnati - that's where the show is normally held anyway).

Winterfair, why have you forsaken me? Okay, the Covington/Cincinnati show was a bomb for me. I barely made enough money to pay my December rent and only that because I was doing so poorly I let a $600 necklace, that took me a looong time to make, go for $300. I'm grateful for the money, but selling all that work for next to nothing was degrading and depressing.

What else went wrong? Well, besides the miserable sales, there was the injured finger that swelled up like a balloon, the lack of high-speed internet connectivity in my expensive Marriott hotel room (in spite of what they say on their web site), the daily headaches, the ongoing backache, the $12.99 phone call, the $13.58 breakfast, $1.50 vending machine sodas, limited cable TV, a worthless remote, the broken dolly wheel, the cart that tipped over, the wreck that added at least a half hour to my drive home, and the price of gas - that's the quick list that comes to mind. I think it all started with the squirrel. When I was driving home with the truck I borrowed to do the show, I had only been on the interstate for a minute when a squirrel did a suicide run in front of me. Crap! Thump! Damn, sorry little guy. I'm not superstitious, but when it happened I wondered if that might not be an omen.

Before I get any more depressed I'm going to have some affordable breakfast, buy a dolly wheel, and make some stuff that I will NOT sell at a reduced price.

At some point, when I have time and inclination I'll go into detail about the various misadventures above. For now, blarg!

I hate stupid, fucking football!

2004-11-21T18:34:00.000-06:00

Why is a bunch of guys running around in funny pants, patting each other's butts, and playing a children's game with a ball such a big deal? It blasts over regular TV programming like it's an announcement of a nuclear (pronounced new-klee-er, for any stupid presidents out there) attack. "We interupt 60 fucking Minutes for this silly game."

Here I am, working on a Sunday, with a cold, and when I'm done I'm ready to watch Malcolm in the Middle and some stupid football game that was supposed to end a half hour ago is still on. No, wait, the game isn't even on, its a fucking recap! What the hell?! "Let's make sure the retarded football fans get to see this stupid crap TWICE instead of showing what's actually scheduled". Give me a fucking break! This shit is why Futurama is no longer on and that sucks. Arrrggghhhh!

Okay, I feel better now.

New section on site - Poetry

2004-11-16T13:29:00.000-06:00

Seems everyone online is a poet, doesn't it? Well, me too. Some of my stuff is actually good though - at least I think so. Check it out:

A little site update

2004-11-13T02:29:00.000-06:00

Captions and a few new photos added to the photography section of the site.

Sigh...

2004-11-08T22:42:00.000-06:00

If it's not one thing, it's another. The Java trick to get my pages loaded in the framework, if directly linked, works great... except for blog pages other than the main one. Since the frame loading code is in my blog template it is written on each individual blog file which breaks their direct links when the page tries to load into the framework from an outside link (think search engine result) since individual blog entries are in various other folders that interrupt the path. Something else I have to figure out when I get the time. Seems there should be a way to modify the code to include a variable for sub-folders to get things back on track, but I don't know when I'll get time to start that bit of repair.

Speaking of repair, I'm proud of myself for successfully completing some tricky surgery on my 10 year old JVC CA-C55BK stereo to fix a problem with its design. There was a worm gear that had, over the years, become lose on its drive shaft. Eventually, with the action of the intermeshing gear it was pulled off the shaft resulting in the CD changer and tray not working properly. I had already "fixed" this problem a couple of months ago by gluing the worm gear back on the shaft. A tricky thing to do without a complete disassembly because of tight quarters, but I got the job done with a long brass rod and a rubber band. Unfortunately the glue bond broke and the gear slipped off again. Determined to fix it for good this time, I waded elbow deep into the stereo to lay hands and tools directly on the culprit. Many circuit board plugs and screws later I had the electronics and half the mechanical assembly removed and could see what I had to do to keep the gear in place. I decided I need to make a simple stop that I could anchor to the motor mount. A little stiff paper served to make a template and it was off to the studio to cut and bend some brass. Some slight adjustments and a good polishing on the side that might contact the gear when it tried to slip off and it was reassembly time. Now, it always seems like when one does something like this there's a piece left over and this was no exception. As I was moving the case to install the main circuit board, the last piece before the cover, I spotted a little plastic slab with some springs and a screw attached. Oh, brother! A little disassembly and some looking at shapes and I discovered where the piece belonged, but couldn't understand how it slipped out. Anyway, all back together but for the cover and I was ready for a power-on test. The result? Some unpleasant grinding noise. Sigh. Back apart it came and I turned the motor to see if, for whatever reason, the worm gear was binding on the metal stop, even though I thought I made it smooth enough that that shouldn't happen. Looked like my fix was good. It had to be something else. Now I wondered about that loose piece. It was a "floating" plastic bit that slid in a track. I assumed it would locate itself properly when it's parent part moved. On this I was right, as I discovered after more monkeying around. It turns out that somehow I had failed to get a guide rod back in it's slot AND had a close-tolerance moving part on the wrong side of a part of the CD magazine frame. D'oh! Anyway, all is well now and I can listen to a stack of 7 CDs on random once again without fear of the repetitive action "worming off" the worm gear. Much needed music to get me through the grind of making jewelry for my upcoming shows. The carpal tunnel, tendonitis, upper and lower backaches, eyestrain, headaches, and general fatigue are a little more bearable with some tunes playing. I just wish I had a muse to inspire me, monitor my progress, and crack the whip, when necessary, to keep me going. A back rub now and then would be nice too... Volunteers?

The affected area with my simple, homemade part shown.
Sometimes I feel like that gear, worked back and forth till I just fall down, useless.
All I need is some support to keep me going...

Slight improvements and slow "rush" delivery

2004-11-03T17:26:00.000-06:00

I did some hair pulling before I finally got it working right but, with the exception of the jewelry catalog pages (which will take some more time), any page loaded outside the frame-set or in the wrong frame will reload in the right place within the proper framework. I also added some descriptive text to the decor section: http://www.handheadman.com/decor.htm (Wouldn't have been able to get there directly from a link and maintain the navigation frame before the fix.)

In other news; a couple of days ago I ordered some materials I was running short of (brass sheet, wire, pinbacks. etc.) from New Mexico and paid extra for UPS Blue Label shipping. According to the tracking, the package, which is due today, has been in Nashville since 6:25pm yesterday. Here it is after 5:30pm on the due date and no supplies. Come on "brown"! What are you waiting on???

Nooooo!

2004-11-03T14:48:00.000-06:00

Four more years of that dangerously incompetent boob Bush? There should be some sort of competency test before one can register to vote if there isn't one to become president. I'm thouroughly disgusted with politics and the senselessness of the majority of the voting public.

Guild Wars

2004-10-31T17:15:00.000-06:00

I tried the 3 day Guild Wars preview this weekend. Not too bad. The game is easy to get into, the graphics are gorgeous, the characters are fairly well balanced, and it's possible to quest alone with AI "henchmen" if you have the problem I did of having your party poop out before going the distance.

I created an Elementalist/Monk and did some questing with parties and solo. I also just did some roaming in the exploration areas and picked up all sorts of gear. I only managed to find one rare item, a staff with + to energy AND -1 energy regen, that was pointless. I did some wheeling and dealing and used what I found to craft Pyromancer boots and coat for my firebug/healer. A little red and orange dye and I was looking pretty spiff. Here's how I look decked out ingame:

Will I be plunking down 50 simoleons for this game? I'm thinking, "probably". It's not the greatest game ever, but neither was Diablo II and I got years of enjoyment from it. So, there you go. It gets a thumbs up from me. Maybe I'll see you at Lion's Arch sometime?

Not Divine

2004-10-21T14:38:00.000-05:00

Despite the following, I am neither gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), nor trailer trash...

Some months ago I bought a ton of nice, assorted glass beads at Michaels but had never integrated them into the population of my other beads. Now that I'm getting around to making stuff for my upcoming art shows, I decided I better do some sorting to make selection faster. Geez, what a job. Took me hours. I just hope it saves me as much time and frustration as I think it will down the road (or at least as much time and frustration as it caused in the first place). Here are three of the more colorful boxes as they look now - looks like I need some 4mm round amethysts right away:

On a different note, a couple of days ago as the gigantic house cleaning chore was coming to a close I finally mounted on my deck some pink flamingos I bought years ago. Now, at last, my balcony has a taste of retro too.

Floor plan

2004-10-16T23:59:00.000-05:00

I'm going to have to get cracking on making jewelry for my upcoming shows. It's so hard to get started when I'm lonely and uninspired. Still, somehow in the procrastination process I managed to fritter my time away and lay up a pretty nice floor plan of my apartment. (See "Decor" at www.handheadman.com) Not sure why I was able to put that together but can't seem to motivate myself to do what I need to keep the bills paid. Ugh. At any rate, I'm thinking about populating the floor plan with my major furnishings and making it an image map linked to various photos of my stuff.

friendship phoenix rising...

2004-10-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

Well, spank my ass and call me Charley! No sooner did I get all gloomy-Gus and moody-blues than a chirp came from the steaming ashes of a new-friendship that had heated up a bit too quickly and burned itself up. Reborn, it is. Now how about that?

Here's the course of events from this reporter's viewpoint:

Two people who barely knew each other in their school days, and had not seen hide nor hair of each other since, meet online after about 24 years. The first, real-life, in-person, face-to-face meet-up started off with good home-cooked (Yeah, I'm getting carried away with the hyphens, so sue me.) grub and the exchange of a certificate of Knighthood for some metallic vegetation and a cloudy box filled with stars and Promises (welcome to cryptic-r-us). Also involved was the enjoyment of music while reclined on pillows out in the fresh, night air. A hug is given in appreciation and then the chemistry lab turns up the Bunsen burner. Now, both are heavily laden with miscellaneous baggage yet, though wary of their respective past hazards, their loneliness leads them to overcome the timidity of the freshness of a new friendship and, indeed, things start heading toward more than just friendly. Cold hands become warm and other things become hot. But, cooler heads prevail and before they get in too deep they quench their fire. Well, this fellow thought, "Whew, that was close! Getting too familiar too fast has been a poor way of hanging on to ladies as friends. You start off with a bang before you know if you're really compatible and a few weeks or months down the road regret sets in and two people go their separate ways."

The next day- Sad to say, the party of the second part informed the party of the first part (IE me) that "any relationship based on loneliness is probably not a good idea". Stupid me just went along with it because I'm used to that sort of thing and tired of the struggle so we basically agreed to lay any future together to rest because "maybe someday" can be a painful tease.

That night- Bummed out me decides to cut off any risk of meeting anyone else to get in a train wreck with and wipes out my social network profiles and blogs some mopey grumbling and bad haiku. Sleeping wasn't easy with a heavy heart and a buzzing mind...

Next day- Breakfast tasted like cardboard and brooding looked like the plan for the day. The thought of that sucked so I called the one close girl friend I have who hasn't crapped out on me yet despite my having adored her an embarrassingly great deal to no avail. I visit said friend and she lets me border on weepy while I explain why I had to rob her of her day and then we have an America's Next Top Model mini-marathon. (The movies I took wouldn't play right for some reason). Okay, before the "reality" babe-bitchfest, my dear friend encouraged me to follow my instinct and not just let go of the new and newly-broken friendship and plead my case to the other gal whom I had enjoyed the conversation and company of so much because, dammit, it's worth too much to toss out. During this day away from home, I missed a phone call...

Later that evening- After staying at my friend's place all day and eating nothing but some popcorn I return home with a headache - the crease between my brows deepens. But then I saw my answering machine light was blinking... I generate a little smile after I play back the message. New and newly-lost friend thinks maybe we can open the door we so hastily shut. Oh yeah, I snatched up that phone and dialed her right up. Damn, had to leave a message. Phone tag, you're it... Later in the evening she calls me back and we discuss how we realize that though two very lonely people we may be, that's not what we were basing the friendship on, that was just the trigger for the steamy smooching that almost derailed us which we'll have to be careful of in the future. We're two smart and damned fine human beings so I'm expecting we'll be able to handle ourselves and develop a relationship that is fulfilling and pleasant and not worry so much about were it goes as where it's at at the moment. Live in the here and now and not let the shadows of our pasts dim the lights of our futures.

That light- It's the friendship phoenix rising. (Thanks for letting me use that phrase, my little Schroederette, my sweetie-pi.) To that wonderful gal I nearly lost so fast it made my head spin even more and faster than usual I'd like to say, I apologize for yapping out here in "public" (I doubt anyone really sees this crap) about how hurt I felt. Heck, I have this section of the site for my personal and business news and thoughts and haven't done a very good job of keeping it up. I had a moment in my life that had some impact so I plopped it out here. Hey, at least I was motivated to make an entry! I didn't event think about you reading it at all and I'm so sorry that it made you feel bad that you made me feel bad. Let's jab an icepick in this bummer ball that's bouncing back and forth between us and let the air out. SSSSsssss!

Anyway, folks, disregard my suggestion to disregard my post about social networking. (Hey, it's not flip-flopping! It's learning!) Get out there and meet folks. Sure, sometimes you get burned, but burns heal and don't be so hasty, like I was, to pull the plug on the stove when you get burned because you're just going to have to plug it back in if you ever expect to do any cooking.

Oh, and switching from narrating in third-person to first-person was a stylistic device, not an error. Yeah, that's the ticket!

In celebration of faith restored and eyes reopened to friendship with a real sweetheart, another bad haiku:

kisses light a fire
then quickly make us ashes
rise, friendship phoenix

:-(

2004-10-07T23:57:00.001-05:00

Disregard the previous post about social networking, at least as far as my pages. I am canceling them all. I've never had any success making lasting relationships of any sort and that still holds true, as I've very recently been painfully reminded. For me, it's a pointless exercise and it just makes sense for me to give up.

I suppose this now puts me on par with every whiney emo kid who bemoans their loneliness and posts bad poetry, yet I'm in my 40s. How pathetic is that? I should be used to being alone by now but it still hurts to try to connect and have it all fall apart. These days my time to failure is measured with a stopwatch instead of a calendar. The cycle is just too tiresome to continue so I'm reeling in my lines. I'll abbreviate the bad poetry to bad haiku:

Happiness comes close
But along comes the dreaded
"It's not you, it's me"

I make jokes while I cry. What else can I do? I feel like shit. Still, maybe I'll try this again in another two years...

Social networking

2004-10-03T16:24:00.000-05:00

I've been trying out some social networks lately, mostly very unsuccessfully. In spite of things dragging along I did manage to meet someone I haven't seen in 20mumble-mumble years and think we may be getting together in a few days. Quite a ray of light through my many years accumulation of dark clouds. Among other things she's bright, pretty, humorous, and hasn't decided I'm an asshole yet and even if things get awkward we can always talk about the old days in band camp. It's nice to think that there may be days in the future that aren't spent alone that would have been if I hadn't given the online hunt a go. Even old friends can become new ones.

On an intersecting line of thought-
I've been cleaning my apartment for awhile now and going through many papers. On one was this quote which I had written down to encourage me to send a letter to someone I had but only recently met. I never did send that letter though and now can only wonder what would have happened if I had. I really have to stop being so shy and socially inept. At any rate, here are those well chosen words by a great American writer:

Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me,
why should you not speak to me?
And why should I not speak to you?

-Walt Whitman,
Leaves of Grass 1860

So, join me in an attempt to break out of an isolating shell and give the social networking online a whirl. Here are my pages on various networks: MySpace , Tribe.net , Friendster , Multiply , Orkut (Orkut is an invitation only community. Drop me your email if you want an invitation. I will note that Orkut is slow to the point of being worthless, however.) I haven't done much on any of them yet and plan to investigate them when I have time so I can select the one(s) that work best for me. So far, MySpace seems to be the most active. Tribe looks like it may be good for me to make business contacts. The others I have barely touched and of them Orkut is the worst simply because it's overloaded far too often. I'm surprised Google is still affiliated with it. I'm certainly open to suggestions if anyone has found the ultimate online social network.

I'll close with a really silly poem I had forgotten I had written that turned up in my cleaning / paper shuffling:

Monarch, monarch, tickle my toes
Monarch, monarch, fly up my nose
Monarch, monarch, beautiful orange
Monarch, monarch, what rhymes with orange?

So, in case there was any doubt; yes, I'm a bit batty. :-P

Flop sweat and a crushing grip

2004-09-27T22:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm recovering from the TACA Fall Crafts Fair I exhibited at this past weekend. The weather was great, though it was on the hot side. Still, it refrained from raining on this event that usually sees one good downpour and maybe some gusty winds. Here's a look at one of the fine mornings my fellow artists and I enjoyed (My booth is running off on the right side of the frame):

My sales were abysmal - Half what I was confident I would make and a third what I needed to make to get to my next show without a fuss. As it is, I'm going to have to scramble to keep the bills paid and have money for motel, gas, and change for the show. I've already had the unexpected expense of having to replace the torch I use since the butane cartridges I need aren't available anywhere anymore. Then there's the fact I need a couple of sheets of pricey tool steel, some brass and nickel sheets and some brass wire among other things. About here would be where I would pimp my "Donate!" button if I had one and thought anyone even looked at this page in the first place. Oh, I also managed to break my favorite pair of pliers while finishing up a piece at the show. Curse my damned iron grip, that goof put a frown on my face.

Oh well, I got to see some folks I hadn't seen in about five years, met some great new people in my neighboring booths, saw lots of nice dogs, cute kids, and attractive ladies, as well as getting my hermit-ass outside in the fresh air and sunshine for a few days. All in all, it was worth the disappointing sales and the squint headache, I suppose.

Being devious

2004-06-09T02:55:00.000-05:00

Already I'm a poor blog-keeper. If it's quiet here, check my deviantART.com page. That's where I find I'm more inclined to be active.

Ugh...

2004-05-28T01:06:00.000-05:00

Been very depressed and unproductive lately. I did upload some stuff to my deviantArt page today though.

New Jewelry Catalog content added

2004-05-20T17:28:00.000-05:00

I've added 4 new items to my Jewelry Catalog. One pin in the "Animals" section and and 3 pairs of earrings in the "Human" section. Here are the thumbnails:

location... location... location...

2004-05-19T22:34:00.000-05:00

Riddle me this, Batman -
Why is the link to a person's Blog page at the very bottom of their profile? Sure, I can just hit the end key to get to the link, but wouldn't it make more sense for the blog link on the blogger's profile page on the Blogger site be at the top since it's all about the blog?! Blog blogblog, blog blog-blog blog. Above the "Contact" section of the sidebar seems like a fitting locale, not where it is presently. Can I get an "Amen, brutha"?

Finally!

2004-05-17T22:28:00.000-05:00

I got the jewelry catalog finished. It got tedious at the end because I had to tinker with the HTML on all the item pages to get the shopping cart buttons working, test them all (at least twice), and proof-read everything for the hundredth time. Then I had a little fiasco with moving and renaming a directory and letting Dreamweaver update all the links when I really didn't mean for it to. Oops! I had to backtrack a bit later and figure out how to fix it without taking hours. Anyway... The not-ready-for-prime-time is now ready and open for business. Step right this way... (Be forewarned; if you are on dialup, it may take a half minute or so to load. Once the main frameset, graphics, tables, and frames are up it'll go much smoother since you'll only be pulling down a few images at a time and the framework will remain in place.)

Oh...

2004-05-16T01:00:00.000-05:00

And an updated screenshot of how the catalog is coming along:

Aaagghh!

2004-05-16T00:36:00.000-05:00

I've missed my self-imposed deadline to have a servicable online jewelry catalog by the end of the 15th. :-( I keep futzing with the thing trying to get it perfect. Not all wasted time, here though. I think it's going to look great; my only worry is how big a hit it'll be for folks on dialup. It's pretty heavy with frames and tables, let alone all the graphics. Still, I think it's going to be worth it. All the late nights redesigning the layup and trying to figure out stylesheets, spending a day with my camera under a sheet with two 250watt halogen floodlamps toasting me while I try to get good pictures of my work, getting steamed as Dreamweaver crashes time and time again when I tried to change a certain value in a table (never figured out the problem), etc. All worth it - you'll see! Just a couple more days... Thing is, as soon as I'm done I know I'm going to be rethinking the whole thing as I learn to use Flash and stuff. Sigh... Here's the sauna / Photo-Tent o' Doom:

Dreamweaver

2004-05-13T23:07:00.000-05:00

I got bogged down in my web site progress by switching from Frontpage to Dreamweaver in mid stream. As I'm learning Dreamweaver I can definately see it will suit my style better. Here's a shot of what the Jewelry Catalog is looking like so far:

I'm still thinking I can go live with online ordering by the end of the 15th this month. Just two days to go... Yikes!

Obviously

2004-05-12T14:38:00.000-05:00

I need to do more work on my blog template/style sheet. This page looks like crap. That may be my next project after I get my jewelry catalog on my web site fully functional.

I-24 Closed Due to Gunfire

2004-05-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know the details yet, but I just found out that I-24 was closed in the Harding Road area while police persued a gunman... Even as I type, it looks like they may have caught him with a K-9 unit. Apparently he was fleeing after an attempted home invasion. Here are a couple of traffic cam shots I captured during the event:

Good timing

2004-05-11T02:27:00.000-05:00

Looks like I picked a good time to come back to Blogger. Lots o' nice, new features. :-)

I'll be damned...

2004-05-09T02:55:00.000-05:00

Another (not-so-)little bugger showed up! I woke up in the middle of the night to hear a buzzing which demanded investigation. I hit the "all lights on" button on one of my X-10 remotes and started looking. By this time the buzzing abruptly stopped, but I thought I had a heading and ventured out into the living room. after several minutes of searching I was about to give up, but then I heard it again coming from the kitchen. Sure enough, scooting across the floor toward the computer room (aka dining room) was another caterpillar hunter. This guy, though smaller than the other, was no less swift. He picked a handy spot to be found though as I was able to grab an old Cool Whip container to scoop him up in. Another half-step and I was in reach of my camera to snap a now familiar subject. Hopefully this was a mate to the other and they somehow piggybacked in on my art show displays from last weekend; otherwise, I might be looking at a peculiar (albeit pretty) infestation as I discovered here, UA Arthropod Museum, that these beetles can be found in bunches. Not really a pleasing prospect when I think about rolling over one in bed and getting chomped and sprayed with stinky stuff. Anyway, due to the hour, this one was unceremoniously tossed out from my balcony instead of escorted to a bush like its partner in crime. Not a problem apparently since this one likes to fly more than this species usually does. Here's beetle number two's portrait:

A Visitor

2004-05-07T20:50:00.000-05:00

I'm a loner. Maybe by choice, maybe by circumstance. Either way; I'm not very close with my family, I have practically no friends, and there are no romantic prospects anywhere on the horizon. I am very alone. But, today I had a visitor. Resplendent in metallic green and copper, this visitor scuttled across my bathroom floor like a tumbling gemstone. The caterpillar hunter is a fast and feisty critter and getting a photo was tough. Here it is, a solitary hunter out of its element - sort of like me:

2004-05-07T17:21:00.000-05:00

This is a test to determine if I should use Blogger for my site news...